The show was entitled 'Wish You Were Here, Real Photographs, Series of 9'. The project hinges on my recreation of 10 photographs that I bought at a car boot sale, however despite being 1 photograph down (due to not being able to find some burlesque fans I could borrow - I have an interesting story involving Craigslist that I'll leave til next time), I felt like I had completed the work. Much more than before. I feel I have researched and read around the subject so much more extensively, that my printing, hanging and titling really brought it together and said what I wanted it to say. I want to go on to do some more experimental (dumb) stuff, that I won't get so invested in. Not that I think its bad to get heavily invested in your work, but I need a break. Interestingly, I feel at this stage, I really occupy the role of the photographer in this work. As my technical incompetences get ironed out, I really need to drop my defensive 'I am not a photographer, I am a photo-theorist' line. Not that I am not a photo-theorist any longer, but I am starting to be disingenuous.
My reception went fine/great. A lot of people like my work, even outside the art school. However, I find that I am resistant to some of that love because not all reads of my work I am comfortable with. Some people love that I can actually print 20" X 24" black & white fibre based prints (but really if you spend 6 hours on each print anyone can produce good results). I am not comfortable with this point of view as I feel I need to do what I have to do for that work, I am not insisting on a kind of craftsmanship in a political way. I am absolutely comfortable with presenting slap-dash work where a project calls for that approach. Others see a beauty and glamour in my work which I feel I am only borrowing codes from, not full-on subscribing to. The contents of my photographs (subject I mean) is incredibly DIY and thats important. Nor am I putting forward an ideal beauty. I had my yearly review and Grad Crit last week too - both in my show. In Grad Crit someone in my class who had serious problems with my work told in and out of class that she thought I was really successful in my resolutions of the project. This meant an awful lot to me and her approval was something I never imagined I would gain after some of the discussions last semester, so her comments moved me a great deal. She said that the weight I have gained helped to clarify the work and my insistence on continuing the work was a very strong element in the work. My teacher talked about how subversive it was of me to approach the male gaze with such a joyful light-hearted touch.
I'm glad my labour paid off. Like I said before, each print took 6 hours and due to a power cut and starting my Saturday teaching assistant post for CAP a week earlier than I thought, I was so pushed for time that I was in the darkoom from 9am-2am for 4 days with other slightly shorter stints. I shot 3 new photographs for the project at CalArts and those photos bring a lot of clarity to the whole thing (I think). Alexis helped me a lot (along with 2 other women on my course) and her loyalty and support really touched me. I have to say, that Alexis is a huge part of support network here I would have a lot less fun if she was not my friend. But she is, and I am very very thankful for her.
Another pivotal moment for me last week, Leslie Dick came to see me to talk about my show and hugged me when she came in the room. I am taking a class with her entitled 'Conversations with Dead People: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Sex, Death and the End of the World', and Leslie is grateful that I am in the class because of my comments. She came in the room and said, 'You're so articulate! I'm so glad your in the class! I must give you a hug!' That was a real high point, as I love Leslie dearly. Amongst other things, she reminds me of my late mother. But less emotively speaking, her brain is as sharp as a tack and her wit is utterly British (years spent in London have left their mark).
I'm enjoying all my classes, a mixture of critique and discussion, lecture and technique are represented in my timetable, which I took more care in composing. I'm doing:
Advanced Studio Lighting with Joe Schmelzer (an adjunct, commercial photographer and CalArts grad) www.joeschmelzer.com
Direct to Print, how to process RAW images, edit, file, store and print work with Shari Bond
Buffy (see above)
Fuzzy Pictures with the very lovely Ellen Birrell who I am also desperate to hug (its a strange thing, the teachers here are so like parents in terms of age and extensive knowledge and experience that I find myself really wanting to hug them, is that weird?), which looks at the theories of Batchen, Barthes, Krauss and others and applies their ideas to actual artwork, artists out there and ours, its a lot of fun,
Let's Twist Again, Performance and Documentation with Carola Dertnig, a visiting artist from Vienna, another great class
Grad Crit with Natalie Bookchin, who I love, who makes us sit in a circle and speak in turn - first time descriptive comments, second time round with our read of the work. It sounds remedial but works amazingly well,
History of Photography with Allan Sekula, which bares very little resemblance to any other History of Photography. It is really Allan discussing the contexts of photography and showing various images which he dissects for us. A familiarity with his writing is really essential as it is very hard to follow his thoughts, as his goes on so many tangents. However, he is so smart and I love the class.
View Camera - this class starts in a couple of weeks so I will tell you more about that in time.
I'm feeling really comfortable here now and I am forming strong friendships with some lovely interesting people. I'm having fun! Keeping in touch with husband seems easier since his visit. Time is racing so fast that it really isn't long now before I'm home for the summer.
On to new work now, I feel I've tied up my loose ends. I'm off to go watch some Buffy - for class I am endevouring to watch the entire thing - I'm half way through Season 2.
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