The End Of Things

So, here I am. I've graduated. I'm done. I have not fully emptied out my studio, but all my books are boxed and are in transit, along with other accumulated ephemera. The our ranch home is vacated and our bags our semi-packed (we still have too much stuff!) and we are now housing-sitting on the Westside of LA until our flight home 29th July.

So, what happened?

Let me start at the end of school. Literally the Friday afternoon of the last week of school was the graduation ceremony. The week was one of those where you are madly trying to meet final deadlines and that. And I needed a haircut badly. My regular trim appointment was cancelled by the hairdresser as she was ill, so I had to go right before the ceremony. I was sitting next to girls getting their hair done for their prom-night in the hairdressers, feeling way too in the same boat! New hair; old frock. I couldn't find anything I liked for zero dollars in zero time, so I got out a reliable wrap dress and safety pinned it (I've erm, grown out of it, shall we say) and wore an under-tshirt for modesty. Champagne (x3 glasses) and strawberries reception. No alcohol is allowed during the ceremony, so tradition has it that first years smuggle you some alcohol. Vitamin water, with the vitamins emptied out and vodka poured in. Speeches. Line up, on stage, shake hands with the Dean of the Art School, Tom Lawson, the heads of department, other faculty. By that time, I was tired and emotional. I hugged everyone, told them I loved them (yes, even my teachers). Cut to the after-party. I'll conclude with a tableau of that: it felt totally filmic, like I could see the camera shot and the camera pulling up into the night looking down. Husband was there, everyone was dancing to awful music. Happy, relieved, euphoric and sad.

But that was not an end for school yet, we had a show at the ranch from the class I TA'd for, which meant I had to keep making work the next day, hungover and install the day after that.

The end of school was 17th May, but the MFA grad show opened 20th June, so, the end was not an end. The show went fine, I used my thesis show work, but redid the editing to iron out flaws (and because, I lost all my original Final Cut Pro files). We had a show opening, a show closing and a screening at REDCAT. The latter was very interesting. I edited my work down to a 12 minute one channel piece and it was the first up of the night. I had a good response to it.

And even now, in my mind I keep deferring the end. I'm in a show 'MFA Conversations' and another, 'Greater LA MFA exhibition'. The first one opens 17th July and there's a talk I must attend too, before I come home. The latter I won't be around for.

Moving back in time, I need to explain my hiatus. Blogging has helped me in a couple of ways, it's freed up brain space, allowing me to sort through my ideas and anxieties but its also been a way to maintain the dialogue with friends back home. What happened after my thesis show was that my brain took a holiday, there were, in a sense, no ideas or anxieties to unload. And what's more, lucky me, we had 4 lots of visitors that came out to the ranch. That sort of took care of my need to communicate to my friends in other places.

Of course, my tardy blogging absence is inexcusable. But I think its worth me making an effort to reflect now, and figure out what just happened. So, hopefully more from me very soon.