Fires in California

Just to let you know, some of the fires got quite close to campus, although in the end they blew the other way. Campus was not officially evacuated, but we were all encouraged to leave. I don't have a car so I got a ride with Dana with one of her friends. Dana has been through Katrina and she knows how to evacuate. I did not want to leave so I did not know how to pack! In the end she had to shout at me to get in the car and go. I wanted to finish my cup of tea. English people will understand that. One reason why I was dragging my heels is that N was as calm as a Hindu cow and was adamant he was staying on campus. Dana and N are my family in California and I was torn between their two very different attitudes. I also did not want to choose between who I stayed with. In the end I told Dana I did not want to leave N (or my dresses) and although he did not come with us she shouted at him enough for him to get his ass into gear, pack his stuff up and go with his friend. In that moment there was a weird role reversal of family positions. Dana became the Alpha male, sorting out every single person she knew, fixing everyone up with rides to somewhere safe. She became a hub and as we left she called campus housing and she told the who was going where. Campus housing were blown away. Everyone was calling them and freaking out, wanting to know what to do and there was Dana calling them and listing them who went where in our suite, how they got there etc. Tornados are a regular occurance in New Orleans and her and her family got out well before Katrina hit, even though they lost everything. Everthing. I can only say that whilst I am in California and Dana is in my family, no harm will come to me.

I ended up at a friend of Dana's appartment in North Hollywood, with a dozen actors. They were all hungry and went for a bite to eat at a cool place called Alcove. On the way there Dana realised that the actors were going to stick together and have fun and be actorish, so she looked at me and said, call Alexis, have her pick you up. She knew that as a non-actor that would be a bit much. So Alexis knew the Alcove and was happy to come meet me. I spent the night here and we had fun and I think we are going to the Getty this afternoon. Totally safe here in Hollywood. N just called and he ended up in North Hollywood too. He's off to MOCA. Dana is still in North Hollywood - just spoken to her - she has a hangover.

Forties and Suitemates

Cultural references in American music, films and TV don't really come with an explanation or dictionary for British audiences. I find myself suddenly 'getting' so many of those references now. Like the phrase: 'Blunts, 40s and bitches'. This is really a phrase praising a 3 lifestyle choices. Let me explain, a 'blunt' is a hollowed out cigar filled with marijuana, 40s are very large 40 liquid ounce beer bottles, and bitches, obviously are easy ladies. I suddenly got the meaning of this phrase the other day, as suite mate N was telling me about a drinking game, 'Edward Fortyhands', which involves two 40oz beer bottles being gaffer taped to your hands and not being removed until you've finished them. N likes this game. It makes him sick. N is an undergrad. The only one in the house. When he comes out with these stories, the only thing you can do is sigh, 'You're SO undergrad'. Funnily enough, he's a pretty intellectual, politically aware person. I think he feels the pressure of his peers.

Achraf is from Morrocco. He is very softly spoken. He has long hair and quite femine features, but in a way that works. He is in his second year, and so he is a familiar face on campus. This means, it is not uncommon to hear the phrase, 'You live with Achraf? He's beautiful'. Achraf thinks this is immaterial, however, he does concede his own beauty.

Ben is out at his studio the majority of the time. He is great though. Nice boy. Don't know him very well.

Those are the three males of the house.

Dana is dramatic. But she is loveable. She gives a lot of love and needs a lot of love. She gives this house a fantastic warm vibe. She is a lot fun and she is out now as I type and it does feel empty when she is not here.

A. I am not sure how to sum her up. She is the most socially awkward of the suite. Dana suffers a lot from A. A has appeared to be unhinging to a considerable degree this last week. It's not been very nice.

The way that the group dynamics have been impacted by A's behaviour has been of great interest to my former-Big Brother addicted self. As all BB addicts are aware, groups construct themselves into a family. A father figure/alpha male is deferred to for advice and asked to resolve conflicts and desputes. Its become obvious that this title goes to N. (The Undergrad). A mother figure looks after general emotional welfare, domestic cleanliness and other matters that make a place feel like a home. Achraf confirmed that honour went to me yesterday when he said, 'You, more than anyone else here, makes this place feel like home'. Dana is the joker, the person who maintains bon homie amongst the group. And BB addicts know that the joker is more often than not, the winner. The three of us are really aware that A's erratic behaviour needs to be controlled, and we are all trying to work out which of us is to act. (I think N should do it). We may have to take action as a united unit.

It is bizarre to me to be around so many people. In fact, I did not think I had it in me to deal with this type of set up. But I can, and actually I like it. I'm part of team. Who'd have thought it?

Englishness in California

I walked into the kitchen, straight from finishing painting my studio. I'd just painted the floor with that grey floor paint that gives you a headache. I had paint in my hair, on my face, all over my clothes. I've been wearing some pyjama bottoms and a cheap stripy top to paint in, for days and they smell now. I looked a mess. A girl I didn't know was hanging out with Dana and her friends in our kitchen. She asked me where I was from. She had the poshist most upper class, cut glass English accent you've ever heard. Proper blue blood. I stood there thinking, 'I'm too scruffy to speak to you, I'm too much of a pleb'. It feels weird to feel class anxiety in America. How did that travel? It was very bemusing for the Americans to understand that this girl's voice could have the effect of intimidating me.

Fashion rules are different here. Students are not aiming for sharp or smooth. They are aiming for an affected not-botheredness. On purpose ugly. This works best on thin people with tans. There is also a rather bizarre style called Hifi, which involves lots of neon fabric and old skool hip-hop shapes and accessories. This generally means my style kind of sticks out. But actually, I get people coming up to me complimenting me on my dress sense. Which is nice. Who wants to be skinny and tanned when you have style?

I was asked recently what I miss. I realised then, I just miss my friends and family. Thats all. I have loads of Yorkshire Teabags. So its just people I miss. BTW I love the canteen food here. Fresh salads and lots of fresh organic veggie bakes that sort of thing. And at the weekend, breakfast burrittos, yum!

Read Allan Sekula's 'The Body and The Archive'. It is an amazing essay on photography, portraits, collections, archives and criminal photography. Its an amazing piece of text that is so well researched and just flows. It is really beautiful. Unfortunately, his teaching has no such flow. He is one of the big reasons why I came here, but I find him a big let down. I really get the impression he is seriously unimpressed by me. I thinking I'm going to drop his Globalisation class. I have 3 heavy classes on Thursday followed by the artist's lecture at 7pm followed by the usual exhibition openings on campus Thursday nights. Its just not working. I hear he does a great History of Photography, next semester. I hope maybe without a more coherent topic he will be more engaging.

The word that people ask me to say for them most often is 'dirty'. Apparently it sounds much dirtier with a British accent.

Got a Job

I need to tell you about my violated computer. Its been fixed. I have a new screen. But it has scratches, loads around the battery area and dirty hand prints inside. It was so new it was pristine when I sent it off for repair, so it doesn't feel like mine now. It cost $830 to repair, not much less than a new computer. And I had had it for two weeks. TWO WEEKS! I can't tell you how gutted I am. But what can I do?

So, I need a job more than ever. I wanted some CAP (Community Arts Partnership) teaching work, but I could not get to the schools without a car and the class on campus clashes with one of my seminars, even though the positions were all mine otherwise. However, they offered me some work in the CAP office. I'm working for peanuts, but it should cover my weekend spends.

I had lots of fun at the Hip Hop night in Hollywood. One of the DJs gave a shout out to Mad Lib who was there. My friend Alexis's is so cool and so are her girlfriends. But none of us knew what Mad Lib looked like although we liked his music.

The Crit session last week, was good, but one woman really could not get past if women should be represented that way, if it was appropriate anymore. Really bizarre hearing that opinion. I am a feminist after all.

Weirder still is that it was my opening at Blocspace in Sheffield tonight. The Husband told me it went really well. I was a little sad not to be there. It's an odd feeling, to be away from your life, but your life to continue, almost in two places. One place where you are and one where you are not.