I've got it all to do

Today I am posting a blog, that I intend I will read in the future and laugh at. I'm sure, if I ever get there, that this summer will just seem so far away in my mind. But, going through this summer is just horrible, in many ways. I must clear out all my stuff, sell on ebay to make money, make a note of what is going and what I might want to get the Husband to bring when he comes out. Me and the husband need to get visas. I need to find flights that are affordable - soon - for me and Dad. I need to make money. I need to find money for my fees. Its just so horrible its comedy.

I have to say though, that various people have really helped, and that of course, humbles me. Help has come in terms of giving me a good bit of well paid work. Also, over the phone counselling that I am doing the right thing and that the money will sort itself out. Belief and support that this massive change and move is a good idea. My doctor also was so interested in my plan, he did not charge me for my medical exam, which was supposed to be £90. All that good will is so great. So why then, does the one bit of negativity, rankle so much? I emailed someone asking for help, and I have heard on the grapevine that my request offended them. And actually, someone recommended I get in touch, and said that it would be ok. It is difficult, being in need. I don't want to need help, but I do. I just don't have the money.

Oh how I will laugh, when I read this back.

Problems, Problems, Problems

I've survived the Sheffield floods! (Good news).

Everything else is bad news. The educational loan company have not yet started to do loans for US institutions, although they will do. But not right now. And no date for when they will start. A loan from them, was part of the plan. Or at least, featured in all the lettered plans (see above). This is a set back. Maybe the bank can help me. They are going to call me back. Just in a kind of money-less limbo. I am trying...

Someone suggested a good idea to me. Private Eye classified ads. So I wrote one: 'Artist secured place on prestigious Masters, California. Needs support to pursue dream AC24259535 SC45-41-47'. Only I missed a digit from my bank account. I mean! Bum. Bum. I asked them to amend, but have not done so yet and its been up over 24 hours, and I noticed error after reading it back, like a minute after I posted it. Doh! Doh! Doh!

But then, what would it be like if getting what you really wanted was easy? If you could just pursue you dream like that? If there was no sacrifice, or fear before you embarked on something massive, wonderful, challenging? I certainly would prefer this life to Paris Hilton's.